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| photo credit: Cult Gigolo via photopin cc |
My wife and I just got back from a weekend in California visiting our old high school (Thacher) for alumni day. This time we went without either of the kids and it was a powerful reminder of what we want to prioritize for our family. We got the chance to re-connect with old friends and further connect with a new friend (+Bruce Sallan). My wife and I left after the weekend feeling refreshed. We missed the kids but this was our first weekend actually going away together since our honeymoon almost seven years ago. We’ve had a few date nights scattered here and there but nothing like this. We squeezed in so much, it felt like we had been gone much longer than we were, the sign of a trip well done.
As we were getting ready to take off, I started to think…taking an adult vacation for mom and dad is a lot like the instructions the flight attendant was giving on use of the oxygen masks. Think about it:
“Secure your mask before helping others”
The whole point behind this guidance is that you’ll be much better equipped to support those around you if you take care of yourself first. The same principle applies to parents taking a break…TOGETHER. Taking some time out to recharge, relax, reconnect with your significant other, or whatever it is that makes you feel like you’re ready to take on the world is priceless, especially if you have children. Happier parents make for happier children and a happier family. So we committed that once a year we’ll take the time to go back to Ojai for a weekend and refocus on the things that are most important in our life. It won’t be the most lavish of vacations but nothing could give a better return on our investment. After all, this is the place where we first met almost sixteen years ago!
How are you making sure you help yourself before trying to help your kids?
Great post. One of the best bits of wisdom I received when I became a parent was, “Never forget you were a couple first.” It is a perfect reminder that it’s important to give time and attention to the relationship that started the family.
Absolutely. It’s tough because as parents we want to try to put our kids needs first, but the biggest thing they need is a healthy relationship between mom and dad. Easy to say but not always so easy to impelement in practice. Thanks for commenting!