Eric P. Butts

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“I’m So Glad You Came Over!”

Over the last few weeks, I’ve partaken in several discussion about women “having it all” in the working world, which was jump-started by an article, written by Anne-Marie Slaughter, which you can find in its entirety here: “Why Women Still Can’t Have it All.” In the article, Anne Marie shares her experiences trying to deal with some of the issues that women face in balancing professional lives and family. It is a long read, but an insightful one. While I fully agree with the majority of Slaughter’s points, I couldn’t help but to think that the article was written in such a way that it implies that men don’t really face the same issue.

It wasn’t long before I started seeing responses, rebuttals and posts supporting Slaughter’s article all over Twitter and Facebook. One particular response caught my attention, “Men Never Had It All,” written by Toure (@Toure). He goes on to describe the work-life dilemma from a father and husband’s perspective, which resonated even more with me as the sold breadwinner for my family. Towards the end, I got a chill when reading the beginning of his closing paragraph:

“Men are more likely than women to choose work at a cost to family. Perhaps they suffer less emotionally over that, but there’s still pain there. We just push the feelings down and don’t complain.”

This is the absolute truth – I choose work because I have to…because my family needs me to do it, and I know many others in a similar position.When I hear that my daughter has been crying saying, “I miss my daddy,” it makes me wonder if I’m doing the right thing. Am I so focused on my family not growing up poor like I did that I’m missing more important things? Not sure, and my answer will probably vary depending on the day.

So you might be wondering what any of this has to do with the title of this post.  As a consultant, this work-life struggle is amplified because I am physically away from my family 4 days a week for most weeks during the year. I’ve come to accept the fact that some days I won’t get to speak with my wife through text, and I may not speak to my kids at all.  I’ve accepted that I chose to take on this demanding career to secure a financial future for my children that I never had. And just when I think my 4-year old understands that Daddy is away working, and I’ve convinced myself that I’m doing the right thing for our family as a whole, I come home from Boston, my daughter greets me with a running hug and says, “I’m so glad you came over!”

That is the pain that Toure is talking about in the quote above. I know that my daughter is young and that is her way of trying to express herself, but the pull at the heart I experienced in that moment lingers…Is this having it all? Is this the life I want more myself, my kids growing thinking their dad lives in Boston (or some other city) and doesn’t exist for 4 days every week? More importantly, I need to figure out if this is the life I want for them.

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4 Questions To Know If Going Back to Business School Is Right For You

going back to business schoolThis is a question that I have been asked more times than I can remember, by undergraduate recruits, former classmates, current and former colleagues. It seems like this is something with which EVERYONE seems to be grappling. While this question is not anything knew, my sense is that the number of people asking this question is growing exponentially in the face of the current job market, and given the cost of education, people are thinking longer and harder about this decision than they have in years past.

This decision really applies to any sort of post-graduate academics pursuits, but I will focus on the MBA since that is the choice I had to make and where I have the most firsthand experience.Here are a few key questions to answer as you go through the process of determining if business school is the right move:

1. Why are you considering going back to school?

As simple as this question is, many people don’t have a clear understanding of why they want to go back to business school or the benefit they expect to receive from obtaining an MBA. Many companies focus in organic growth and place little emphasis on having an MBA. If you have been frequently promoted and are considered a high performer then going back to school may not be the right choice for you.

That being said, if you are looking to get to the next level (and/or senior leadership positions) within your company and all of the people currently holding those positions have MBAs, it may be a sign that you should start looking for some quiet places to study.
On the other hand, if any of the examples below explain your reasons for why you want to pursue business school, I’d recommend you focus your attention elsewhere.
a. I’m not sure what I want to do with it
b. I think it’d be good to have
c. My parents think I should go back to business school
d. All of my friends are doing it
I think you get the idea so I will move on to the next question.

2. Who is going to pay for it?

With the rising cost of education, gone are the days of deciding on schools without taking finances into consideration.  The debts that many students incur are life-changing and if you don’t have a clear vision of what this means and how you will generate a return on your investment, you can cause yourself some unnecessary financial strife down the road.

If you have any an employer or sponsor that is going to help share the burden of you graduate education, you need to be sure that you understand what will be required of you in exchange for that support (e.g. 2 years of service following completion of graduate coursework) and determine if it’s an acceptable trade-off.

3. Where are you going to go?

There are some different schools of thought on this topic and I will share my view. If you are going back to business school you should be targeting a school generally considered to be a top 10 program and definitely not consider any schools outside of the top 25.

A large part of the value you get from business school is outside of the actual education you receive.  It’s the network that you build with classmates and alumni as well as the school’s reputation when they see that institution’s names on your resume. These are the qualities that are going to play the biggest part in accelerating your career or allowing you to change careers if that is your goal, and this benefit is significantly less when you don’t attend a top school.

I’ve always been frustrated that this how is the world we live in works, but I’ve come to grips with it and focused on using what I know to my advantage. The sooner you make a similar shift in mindset, the sooner you can identify the most effective strategy to reach your career goals.

4. What are you going to do once you have the MBA? Immediately following graduation? Five Years after graduation?

This is the last and most important point you want to consider when determining if business school is the right move for you.  The way you want to think about this is there is no reason to take on tens of thousands of debt and give up 2 years of work experience/progression only to return to a similar position at the same company (or any other for that matter) for marginally more compensation. Even if you aren’t 100% sure what you want to do, you should have a strong feel for the potential outcomes and how they would impact you professionally and financially.

Pursuit of an MBA should be a strategic move to accelerate your career, with an action plan to achieve tangible returns on your investment. Of course plans change as you encounter new information along the way, but by taking a step back and challenging yourself with each of the questions above, you can make a more sound decision on business school and proactively shape the roadmap for your future before its too late.

Note: Post was written considering only business school full-time. Part-time students have some additional considerations that I will address in a separate post.